It is the Ides of March, and I wish a happy one to you. Et tu.

I figured, this was a lovely day to get back into the blog saddle. Yes, I said lovely. Though, I'm a bit rusty on the ol' writing thing. So le's jus cut to the chase....

When I was younger, I had a bit of a classical education. I was brought up by my parents (imagine). Which sounds a bit obvious, except most people are also brought up by society, churches, synagogues, schools, extended family, etc.. Me not so much. I grew up in an island of my mother's making.
The classical education included my mother's (ahem - obsession) film collection. One such film was "Cleopatra." When we moved from Beta to VHS we bought "Cleopatra", which was a big deal because videos cost a small fortune back in the day. "Cleopatra" came on two tapes. Every time we watched it, I would endure the stories of watching it in the movie theater. Back when movies were real, and theaters were an adventure with velvet detail and proper aisles and whatnot. I did listen, I did find it interesting, I did appreciate being told but I was never sure what I was supposed to do with the information. I still have an image of the movie theater they watched "Cleopatra" in, in my mind.

When I got older, I realized I had no idea how many times I'd seen the movie. It was never one of my favorites, but it fascinated me nonetheless. I went through an Egyptology phase, as I believe all children do.
Normal children that is.
I had seen it often enough to have it memorized.

One day, for no reason, I was about 12 and sitting at the kitchen table with my grandmother having coffee, her mainline drug of choice. I asked, "what are the Ides anyway?"
 She said "the 15th."
"Of what?"
"Of March."
"Only March? Why is March so special that it deserves Ides? Did it become the Ides, and how?"
The question then became our theme of the day, and in the days before the internet had really caught on we decided to investigate. Which meant pulling a couple books off her shelves, not many books, she always knew where to look and I suspected she always already knew the answer and was just entertaining me.
The Roman calendar was investigated and we learned that the 15th was the Ides only for March, May, July and October.

These things entertained us greatly. You'd be right by guessing we had too much time on our hands, but it never seemed that way to me. It was a languidly sanguine education.
So we decided...to watch "Cleopatra." It was a nice day, and we had a good time and we would shush anyone who came home and into the room, as though it were hugely important that we take in every detail. This would be treated like the first time we'd seen the movie. This time, because we were being entertaining, my grandmother started in with all of her Hollywood gossip stories, which segued into her Egypt and Rome gossip stories. Which eventually segued into her childhood and how she'd come across it all (ancient history) herself. I remember realizing I'd aged enough to get it more both her stories and the movie, to know who the actors were. To feel differently from the times I'd seen it before.
From time to time after this I'd watch "Cleopatra" again alone. Sometimes, I thought Cleopatra was a spoiled brat. Sometimes, I found her pathetic. Sometimes, I found the entire thing supremely irritating. Once I cried for her.
Anyway, the Ides became our thing and every year on the Ides of March I would call my grandmother and wish her a Happy Ides. Sometimes I'd send her a card to arrive on that day.

In the alternate family universe, whenever family arguments would side against my mother, or she asked my opinion on something and my answer was unexpected she would utter in her pathetic tone (you'd have to know her to get the tone) "Et Tu, Brandi?"

When my mother died I stopped watching "Cleopatra." When my grandmother died I stopped knowing what to do with the Ides. No one else would get that. It was our thing. Every year it rolls around (in March), and every year I feel sorry for myself. Sometimes I still mime calling her and wishing her a Happy Ides. Sometimes I just say it in my head.

Today, for no reason, I wished my husband a Happy Ides, because often he doesn't let me down emotionally, and surely he'd say something pithy back. So he responded "Et Tu, Brandi." I told him that was my mother's pet phrase for me and he said she always got there first. Of course, anyone with half a consciousness would have been able to guess that, but hey, there ya go. I've wished other people a Happy Ides, and by and large I get confused, blinking stares.
So I said "Let's make the kids watch "Cleopatra" tonight!" and of course he said "Yes, lets's!"

What I hadn't predicted was how into it Celia would get for which reasons. I thought, because she'd identify with the romance, or the young queen. No, because she studied Rome and Egypt intensively before and has even some Latin to show for it, she was enthralled.
 And it made me happy. Because though they aren't here to lecture my children about proper movie experiences and over the top film productions, I can cast my mind to them as I lecture my children about my own classical education, and how this ties into the Hollywood version reality.
Thus far that's had lots of mutterings from me about the lack of CGI. "See those hundreds of people? They aren't copied. Those are real people! They really burnt those fires, they really did that, look at them all, look at their costumes. They filmed all this, think about the timing! Of course this is a fairytale version, but still."

If you haven't done so lately, I urge you to find a huge grandiose and outdated film. Something that lasts for 4 hours and you know every line. It will warm you, you'll see. Even if you can see visions of your 5 year old self with tears of boredom, waiting for intermission, dancing before yourself. (Unless, you were geeky, like me and detested intermission. In which case, have a glass of wine too - for good measure.)
And to you I wish a Happy Ides.