Today, I realized the summer routine is kicking in. Buttercup has grown used to her brothers being home and while when they leave the room she still absent mindedly asks me if it is time to go get the boyses, by and large she's found peace with it all. She's enjoying the affection and attention they lavish on her.
The affection and love and attention is a signal also that they are finally in their summer routine as well. I'm seeing more of the behavior I associate with my children, and being home, and less of the stressed - high strung - school period oriented behavior. They have stopped waiting for the bell to tell them where to go next. They've started waking up when they are rested. They have stopped with the stupid 'verbal viruses' as my husband and I call them. A verbal virus being when one child discovers a sound effect, interesting word, or catch phrase and it spreads like wildfire through the rest of the child population of a school or play group. "cool", "awesome", "lush", etc..
They have stopped trying to out do each other and trying to one up each others school stories. They have settled into waking up to see how much more our seeds have grown, where they let their crayons, or if I've finished shelving the books so they can unshelf them as fast as possible. They are finding their coloring books and craft box.
All in all it is a huge relief now.
That's not to say they aren't still fighting or tetchy or they lose their patience with each other. People get tired, and nerves run dry after the fifteenth time of using someone else's green crayon without permission.
However, I come out to the living room more and more to find them laying cuddling with each other, sharing a book, or so quiet that I'm convinced they've left the house and snuck off to the park.
So - deep breath - knock on wood - bite my tongue - but we have summer as I envisioned it.
Now - for the letdown.
Does anyone remember the thing I wanted most out of this summer? The thing I've fixated on since about November? It was the garden. I wanted my garden. I had intended on building a hoop house but we didn't have the money to front it in the fall and then it was too late. Our winter was hard and windy and frustrating and tiresome. I longed for the plants I'd tried to save. I cried eventually, as they were all eaten away. Some things came back to my delight - others that should have - didn't. Our hibiscus, despite going in the ground in the spring, died totally. We had to dig it out. The artichoke didn't make it, the leek did (until the chickens found it) and so on.
This year I am both getting my hoop house but I am taking my garden back. This has pretty much nothing to do with the realities of social pressures or having the best garden in town. I won't ever. I will never take anything quite that seriously. I can garden but I am not obsessed. The man across the way spends part of every single day in his garden and it is marvelous, but I need to miss days - spend more time with the kids, or fixate less than that. Still I want my little planty plants. They make me happy and I talk to them. My next door neighbor (our favorite) upped his efforts to make his lawn greener than ours. Does he think I care? I planted grass because it is child friendly - and cooler in the summer - and small insect and bio friendly. I didn't plant the grass to start a pissing contest.
The back garden was my want. I wanted to be outside with the kids as much as possible without having to go to a public place. I wanted my hammock back and I wanted to see little lush flowers grow - and more thrillingly - by my own hand.
So does it surprise anyone that we've had the driest year? Or that we've had the windiest spring on record? Or that by now I am truly beginning to think that I did something to piss the universe off and give me incredibly bad garden karma? The Arizona fires - which constantly leave my heart going out to the people who are closer are still strong enough here that I can't be out for long in the smoke. My lungs are compromised and the smoke leaves my chest aching. When it isn't smokey it is about 300 degrees out, or 50mph winds.
Now - and I have a few theories on this - a mystery substance shows up in our yard. Right now, the only working theory is that either aliens came and deposited a mystery substance on our lawn or this is another attack by living with either a)socially anti-social and mean neighbors or b) across from a public park where we get a lot of low level vandalism at night on our property. The mystery substance is black and liquid. With chunks, very like crude oil. It smells of the worst kind of death you can imagine. Celia going out to water the plants comes in retching her guts out. I've seen her help me rebury a dead chicken that a neighborhood dog dug up, wipe up day old blood after the kids have household injuries, and deal with distemper cat sick and diarrhea - freshly ground into carpet (with a sponge - by hand) so this is a real statement when she comes in actually throwing up from the smell. First of all - what the hell is it? We dug under to realize it isn't coming from the ground, it is indeed topical. We tried burning it off and it isn't burning (so much for crude oil). We have been reduced to digging it out, bagging it up, and putting it with the garden waste for collection on Monday.
Which begs the question. I have had 2 days I have been able to get to my garden and we are fast approaching halfway through June. I started the endeavor of trying to reclaim the garden in January. Is this a joke? Grin and bearing it, smiling and trying to be good natured, zen breathing, are all things that can take me only so far. Some part of me is ready to just write the bastard garden off. I'm seriously having a hard time not taking this stuff personally anymore. I know, 90% of it is nature and who can be angry at nature? Until you remember that anger is a capacity of human nature and while I don't indulge in or roll around in self entitled misery I do stop to think that stifling my own nature is probably also not healthy. My nature right now is pissed at nature. I want my garden back (shakes fist at air) and I want it now. My planty plants will die soon if they don't get planted in the ground and out of their little seed pots. I invested my heart in these little suckers and wildfires, wind, sun, drought and mystery alien leavings can just freak the freak off. So there.
See - very yin yang. Childhood peace balanced by forces of nature rants. Whoever said I'm imbalanced?
The affection and love and attention is a signal also that they are finally in their summer routine as well. I'm seeing more of the behavior I associate with my children, and being home, and less of the stressed - high strung - school period oriented behavior. They have stopped waiting for the bell to tell them where to go next. They've started waking up when they are rested. They have stopped with the stupid 'verbal viruses' as my husband and I call them. A verbal virus being when one child discovers a sound effect, interesting word, or catch phrase and it spreads like wildfire through the rest of the child population of a school or play group. "cool", "awesome", "lush", etc..
They have stopped trying to out do each other and trying to one up each others school stories. They have settled into waking up to see how much more our seeds have grown, where they let their crayons, or if I've finished shelving the books so they can unshelf them as fast as possible. They are finding their coloring books and craft box.
All in all it is a huge relief now.
That's not to say they aren't still fighting or tetchy or they lose their patience with each other. People get tired, and nerves run dry after the fifteenth time of using someone else's green crayon without permission.
However, I come out to the living room more and more to find them laying cuddling with each other, sharing a book, or so quiet that I'm convinced they've left the house and snuck off to the park.
So - deep breath - knock on wood - bite my tongue - but we have summer as I envisioned it.
Now - for the letdown.
Does anyone remember the thing I wanted most out of this summer? The thing I've fixated on since about November? It was the garden. I wanted my garden. I had intended on building a hoop house but we didn't have the money to front it in the fall and then it was too late. Our winter was hard and windy and frustrating and tiresome. I longed for the plants I'd tried to save. I cried eventually, as they were all eaten away. Some things came back to my delight - others that should have - didn't. Our hibiscus, despite going in the ground in the spring, died totally. We had to dig it out. The artichoke didn't make it, the leek did (until the chickens found it) and so on.
This year I am both getting my hoop house but I am taking my garden back. This has pretty much nothing to do with the realities of social pressures or having the best garden in town. I won't ever. I will never take anything quite that seriously. I can garden but I am not obsessed. The man across the way spends part of every single day in his garden and it is marvelous, but I need to miss days - spend more time with the kids, or fixate less than that. Still I want my little planty plants. They make me happy and I talk to them. My next door neighbor (our favorite) upped his efforts to make his lawn greener than ours. Does he think I care? I planted grass because it is child friendly - and cooler in the summer - and small insect and bio friendly. I didn't plant the grass to start a pissing contest.
The back garden was my want. I wanted to be outside with the kids as much as possible without having to go to a public place. I wanted my hammock back and I wanted to see little lush flowers grow - and more thrillingly - by my own hand.
So does it surprise anyone that we've had the driest year? Or that we've had the windiest spring on record? Or that by now I am truly beginning to think that I did something to piss the universe off and give me incredibly bad garden karma? The Arizona fires - which constantly leave my heart going out to the people who are closer are still strong enough here that I can't be out for long in the smoke. My lungs are compromised and the smoke leaves my chest aching. When it isn't smokey it is about 300 degrees out, or 50mph winds.
Now - and I have a few theories on this - a mystery substance shows up in our yard. Right now, the only working theory is that either aliens came and deposited a mystery substance on our lawn or this is another attack by living with either a)socially anti-social and mean neighbors or b) across from a public park where we get a lot of low level vandalism at night on our property. The mystery substance is black and liquid. With chunks, very like crude oil. It smells of the worst kind of death you can imagine. Celia going out to water the plants comes in retching her guts out. I've seen her help me rebury a dead chicken that a neighborhood dog dug up, wipe up day old blood after the kids have household injuries, and deal with distemper cat sick and diarrhea - freshly ground into carpet (with a sponge - by hand) so this is a real statement when she comes in actually throwing up from the smell. First of all - what the hell is it? We dug under to realize it isn't coming from the ground, it is indeed topical. We tried burning it off and it isn't burning (so much for crude oil). We have been reduced to digging it out, bagging it up, and putting it with the garden waste for collection on Monday.
Which begs the question. I have had 2 days I have been able to get to my garden and we are fast approaching halfway through June. I started the endeavor of trying to reclaim the garden in January. Is this a joke? Grin and bearing it, smiling and trying to be good natured, zen breathing, are all things that can take me only so far. Some part of me is ready to just write the bastard garden off. I'm seriously having a hard time not taking this stuff personally anymore. I know, 90% of it is nature and who can be angry at nature? Until you remember that anger is a capacity of human nature and while I don't indulge in or roll around in self entitled misery I do stop to think that stifling my own nature is probably also not healthy. My nature right now is pissed at nature. I want my garden back (shakes fist at air) and I want it now. My planty plants will die soon if they don't get planted in the ground and out of their little seed pots. I invested my heart in these little suckers and wildfires, wind, sun, drought and mystery alien leavings can just freak the freak off. So there.
See - very yin yang. Childhood peace balanced by forces of nature rants. Whoever said I'm imbalanced?
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