Just to get this out of the way, let me say that the word blog is obnoxious. I find the word singularly unattractive and I wish that the people coining phrases would stop being so simple minded. "I know, let's use contractions and or words that totally put people off and then force them on mainstream society." "ohhh, yeah, I like that, I've got one, 'viral'" "yeah, NICE"

Okay, there I got that off my chest.

Anyway, So I decided, sometime over the last 10 years (remember live-journaling?) that I would at some point start a blog. I'm obviously the type who jumps in head-first.

No, but seriously folks. I just didn't know if I had time - or enough people I felt like sharing my life with to create this.

Then, of course the agony of choosing backgrounds and fonts.

Then, not to forget the most important choice - what to write about?

For Example:

I have 4 children and counting.

I have a semi-busy but completely placid life.

I'm currently involved in various birthing communities. I hesitate to use the word natural here because it kind of winds me up.

I'm not a health nut, not a "crunchy" momma. Well not by my definition.

I'm not hugely, massively religious (more than some, less than many).
However, the religion I do answer to is not the norm in the blogging communities. 

And how do I say any of that without alienating a large audience. The religion for example, not being main-stream Christian I am afraid that my perplexity about certain things and my disregard for other things might surely upset folks.

I've been reading a lot of blogs lately though and I've decided that if I'm not put off by Catholicism, Christenings, Baptisms and all things Mormon then the rest of the world can take me with a grain of salt. If not, whatever. I'm tired of the growing intolerance I have seen lately. I am forever surprised that in this day and age things like racism and bigotry still exist. I am surprised every time I see someone who still has a small and simple mind. This is the future, right? Where is the forgiveness and open-mindedness? Where is the sense of humor?

Which brings me to the next subject of birthing (following religion in ways I'm likely to alienate my audience). I'm not going to bring politics in to this, I'm just not. For me, this world is what it is and currently is also my bread and butter, my lifestyle and what makes me happy. I'm not forcing lifestyles on anyone by them reading what I have to say. I doubt you will be contaminated for life and if you are then you surely have already fit into the S&S minds of above. Web-pages are easy to close, and your life is easy to go on with.

So what else has been my hurdle? I suppose that would simply be opening up about the intimacy that is my immediate family setting. On one hand my children are so shiningly brilliant that I feel the entire world should be exposed to their glow. On the other hand, I covet them and want to shield them from the radio-active glow of the world. That is a conundrum.

The above things combined are why I have not started a blog.

My lack of focus. Do I write about birth? Do I write about that time at the beach that Queak got bowled over by a wave, head over heals 4 times and lost his shoes - which we searched hours for and even came back every day for a week when the tide came in to find? Do I write about the daily happenings that crack me up personally, that so many other mothers are writing about in their crunchy momma blogs?

Which brings us back to the top of this entry. What this is is, what it is. Which is to say, it will surely be what strikes me at the time, no more, no less.

I'm sure days I will simply have one-liners. Other days I might dig out journal entries from years gone by. Other days I might have little rants. Who knows?

At this point I think this is more for me than anyone else - which is kinda the point really. Documenting things I meant to put down a long time ago.

I won't journal much. Who needs to know that my son is up at 11pm at night doing homework because we lost it for a week only to find it on his desk the night before it was due? Who needs to know that I had a spat with my husband because we were both tired and exhausted after 2 weeks of furnace-madness?

Who needs to know that when I'm exceedingly tired I snap at my own children and then out of guilt buy them off with cuddles on the couch and M&M's ("My mother was mercurial" they will tell their future spouses). 

No one - that's who. 

You'll get anecdotal and you'll like it, or you'll close the browser tab - got it? 

GOT IT?