Pretty Boys

 This story has a happy ending, so stay with me.
There is just one side note and the rest of it is all happy. I'm only sharing the side note with you because it was incremental to the crash of my weekend I think. We arrived and took the first set of pictures.
I had become less stressed when the banner was finished and I felt that things were falling into place. We had company the night before and we stayed up late playing games rather than fretting over sewing.

I did get up early the morning of Opening Day to check the seams though and I did swing the iron a couple times of what could have been construed to be looser parts of the hem than others. Remember I chose hem tape and I did, unabashedly use a long arm stapler to staple the shirt on rather than sew it.

I did also decide I was afraid the foam letters would come off (the foam letters were an artist liberty taken by my husband who decided cutting out black felt was too time intensive and also ugly). I worried about the wind we've been having, and the foam on fabric. I decided to secure it with some fabric to fabric craft glue I had. I labored over the coloring of the letters and I still feel badly for not having a variety of colors for Julian's name. I'm not even sure which kid is Julian.
Brian said, no one will notice, no one will care, it will look great, stop freaking out. My friend who hemmed for me said the same thing.
So, I agonizingly quit fretting over sequence and on the day I admitted to you all that I had to have it ready for the next morning I set to gluing the foam.
Okay, it wasn't a joke. It glued to the carpet. I had thought about taking it outside but I worried the wind would get it. I thought, it won't glue to my carpet, I'll try just this one letter. I felt behind the letter, nothing happened after I glued it, so I let loose and glued it all. It took hours, hours. Like half an hour a name. I pressed down on them (probably my mistake) to make sure all the glue made contact with the fabric.
When I realized I didn't have room on the floor on one wall to get to those names I picked up the fabric - wait, no I didn't - it was glued to the floor. Now, adding to the Jackson Pollack finger paint stains I now have clear fabric paint markings of all the names on the team. I pulled the banner up, convinced I'd ruined it and lined the back with foil - ask me some other time about getting the foil off the next morning.

The next morning - Opening Day- I met at the field a dad who had brought me poles he thought would fit. Bless him because they did fit, perfectly, and I was spared using my only broom and mop handles.
This isn't a huge note to the story, just that I had a huge banner in one hand during the entire next sequence.
I looked for the teams and I didn't see them. I found Leif's team and left him with them with a kiss, insisting I needed to find Queak's team. I couldn't believe I was early, so I thought I had the wrong spot.
The place was filling up quickly and I wondered if I would get spots on the bleachers in front of the field.
I grabbed Queak, and I had him grab Buttercup. On the other side of Buttercup was Celia.
That is a main point. Buttercup reached up for Celia's hand and I set-off. I started walking us around the field, around the fence, looking for the other team for Queak.
We got exactly across from where we started. Brian had left to get cash.

I had bought wrist bands days before for the kids when they were on sale, I did not want to count money or tickets in what I visualized as mayhem (if it was anything like that first meeting). Still, Brian was sure that we'd need money for something. He had walked to a bank (that didn't have an atm- weirdos) and two gas stations. He finally decided he'd risk losing our parking spot and drive someplace. Which is what he did.
That left me alone with 3 children, that is not normally an issue.

We were in a large crowd but my children are good in crowds.

I pased the huge crowd who were vying for spots on the main bleachers. I passed the concession stands and I passed the ticket tents and I passed the next most main bleachers.

Then, I stopped and said, let's sit here, it is in the shade. Celia you take Buttercup and save us seats, make sure no one takes them.
Okay, she said but "Daddy has Buttercup."
No he doesn't I said, where is she?
"She went with Daddy"
No She Didn't. We had her, she had YOUR hand, where is she?
"I'm sure she went with Daddy"
Child! He left in the CAR. I saw her after that, on the side of YOU! I start swirling around, at first in slow motion, checking spot by spot.
No Buttercup.

I start shouting, "find her."
but, she went with Daddy, I'm sure!
Right then, I started thinking - I'm not crazy, I know we had her, I know we did.
I'm stood there with this huge banner in one hand, now terrified to let go of Queak or leave him with Celia so I can search. I am now spinning in circles and I scream
"stop saying that, she's not with Daddy - she's gone! Find her!"
Celia looked at me like I was mental. This would go down in history as the worst thing that ever happened between us had fate not intervened.
I thought, this is like in movies where you know everyone is an alien but no one else will believe you. Buttercup was lost and I was the only one moving.
I had to scream at Celia now. FIND HER, I'M NOT KIDDING - DO THIS NOW.
Finally, she went ambling off in the direction we had just left.

I stopped at the concessions and ticket stands, everyone was really good. Very calm - what does she look like, describe what she's wearing. Somewhere in the back of my head I thought, please don't let me be repeating this to the police soon. Somewhere in my head I'm going 20 seconds, 90 seconds, 4 minutes. Because you always hear how vital every second is in missing child cases.
I'm not seeing her. I'm scanning the crowd, feeling like I can't scan fast enough.

I get a message from Brian, he's back from the bank and parked, where am I.
I said, I know where I am, I don't know where Buttercup is. I started wheezing a little as I typed "help, please help me, honey" failed to send. I thought of dropping my phone it was slowing me up. I got a message out finally "lost Buttercup". I couldn't type more, or faster. Every time I typed 'help' my phone choked - bastard. I sometimes do think higher and malevolent forces are at hand when things like that happen.
Then, suddenly my phone shot back with "I have her, where are you?"

Now, before you too think I'm nuts and no one is an alien - he didn't have her. He'd found her, just then, in the crowd.
He said it was utterly fate, as he was just walking to find me, when he saw a child, off on its own that looked remarkably like Buttercup. Even dressed like her. He said he couldn't process that she wasn't with me (he trusts me - which made me sad for a minute) so he discounted it. But the child looked lost and the child was contemplating crossing the major intersection, the child was following the trajectory his car had taken when he went looking for an atm. At which point he ran and grabbed the child and whisked it up, to discover it was Buttercup and she was standing in traffic and I was no where to be seen.

He didn't let me have it. He didn't rub my face in it. He didn't blame me. He didn't even let me think for two seconds that everything was not okay. He said he's too long in the parenting game to have not known exactly what was going through my head and exactly the breakdown I was surely facing had she not materialized. He figured that punished me enough. I appreciated that. I also appreciated, intensely, the feeling of total let-down and relief I felt surge through me as I ran to the car and saw her in his arms. I realized I trust him too. He's always been my savior. I had a relationship before this, with another father and another little girl. A little girl that once got lost by her father at the mall, the state fair, the middle of a street and a restaurant to name a few. I remember the distinct panic I felt when she was alone with that father. That little girl is also genetically the same older girl who lost her little sister that day, during the opening ceremonies.

I said to Brian as I took him and Buttercup into my arms "I need to cry now." He said "I can well imagine." He never even asked me what happened. I just stood there shaking for a few minutes. Then I said, OK - I'm drawing a line under this. We're out to have a good day and if I spend more than 30 seconds thinking about what just happened I'll go insane. Which is why I put it away, which is also part of why I woke up feeling so foul today, because I needed to deal with what I had not dealt with yesterday. As punishment I made Celia go around to every single authority I had alerted and tell them we'd found the missing child.

She was actually quite melancholy for several hours afterwards, she chastised me a few times saying "I didn't lose you, Mommee, you lost me." Sums it up, would stand up in court. Sigh.

Now for the fun - Part 3